Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage (2)

Realizing how vitally important it was in our day and age to have a thoroughly Biblical view on these matters, and realizing that my current (inherited) views were woefully lacking, I purposed to spend as long as the study required in order to come to a Biblical understanding of marriage.

So I purposed to read the Bible through from cover to cover with the intent of noting, listing and carefully considering every reference…
- to marriage, divorce and remarriage,
- to sexual relationships and
- to divine instructions, warnings, commands, prohibitions, blessings and promises that were related to the marriage relationship or to its perversions.

As my study progressed, I wrote to a friend, “In spite of all the confusion among godly men on the subject of divorce, I’ve been encouraged by James 1:5 that a right understanding of the scriptures is possible and most necessary. It seems most evident to me that, if some scriptures create problems to my way of thinking on a subject, my thinking is either faulty or incomplete. So I’ve been trying to locate and evaluate every biblical passage dealing with the marriage relationship and its abuse to try to get a full picture of the subject.”

Something that impressed me early on in my study was that when God had first brought Eve to Adam in the garden, there is no record of any instructions being given them relative to marriage! But as the inspired scriptures were given and began to be written by Moses, we are given the pattern principles of marriage stated positively in Genesis 2:
(1) No helper suitable for Adam among the animals: Marriage is to be a human relationship.
(2) A woman is brought to a man: Marriage is to be a heterosexual relationship.
(3) A man is leave his father and mother to find a wife: Marriage is to be a non-incestuous relationship.
(4) The man is to cleave to his wife: Marriage is to be a non-adulterous relationship.
(5) The man is to cleave to his wife: Marriage is to a marital relationship.
(6) A man and a woman (singular) are to be one flesh: Marriage is to be a monogamous relationship.

But in the book of Genesis, we find examples of bigamy, polygamy, and divorce with no reproof of these practices by conscience or divine revelation.
We find instances of incest, harlotry, and sodomy reproved by conscience but not reproved by any divine revelation or prohibition.
We find divine judgment meted out for sodomy but only adultery is actually reproved by divine revelation. (Gen.20:3)

So notice with me, the progressive manner in which God, in the scriptures, reveals His positive pattern for marriage by way of the contrasting negative prohibitions:

I. In Genesis: -only adultery is ruled out. (20:3) *non-adulterous relationships only
II.In Exodus: -adultery is ruled out (20:14,17)
-bestiality is ruled out (22:19) *human relationships only
III. In Leviticus: -adultery is ruled out (18:16,20)
-bestiality is ruled out (18:23)
-incest is ruled out (18:7-18) *non-incestuous relationships only
-sodomy is ruled out (18:22) *heterosexual relationships only
IV.In Deuteronomy: -adultery is ruled out (22:22)
-bestiality is ruled out (27:21)
-incest is ruled out (23:30; 27:20,22,23)
-sodomy is ruled out (23:17) and
-pre and post-marital relationships are ruled out (22:20-29 & 23:17)
*marital relationships only

But throughout the entire OT there is no divine reproof of polygamy! This is only revealed as we come to NT times:
(V) In Matthew and Romans: -polygamy is ruled out. (Matt.19:5) “They twain (the two of them) shall be one flesh.” (Romans 7:1-3) “So then, if while her husband liveth she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress.” Thus we see that God’s design for marriage is that it is not only a human relationship, a heterosexual relationship, a non-incestuous relationship, a non-adulterous relationship, and a marital relationship, but it is also to be a monogamous relationship.

Thus, I began to see that these six features not only define the very nature of God’s design for marriage but also define negatively every possible sort of perversion of that relationship.

I was deeply impressed that it was not until God had completely revealed not only His positive pattern for marriage but also had revealed the opposite perversions that he spoke for the very first time of “that which God hath joined together” with the accompanying prohibition, “Let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:6

In the last 10 years or so, I have asked many ministers, pastors and preachers who are “registered marriage officers” a question which not one yet has been able to answer! If they don’t know the answer to this question, you can be sure that few if any of those whom they are marrying know the answer either! And this, I believe is the number one reason why divorce rates continue to rise and may even be higher among professing Christians than even in the world!

This is a question which , I believe, ought to be answered by every “marriage officer” as well as by every couple contemplating marriage and, by all means, by every couple contemplating divorce!

That question is this: “What is it that God joins?” Is it every marriage? Is it every “legal marriage”? Is it every “Christian marriage”? I think you can easily see the problems with any such answer!
One of the first preachers to whom I asked this question acknowledged that he did not know. So I pressed upon him the vital importance of this matter by a second question: “If we have no idea what it is that God joins, how can we have any idea what it is that He forbids to be put asunder?" I maintain that widespread ignorance of the answer to this one question is the prime reason why marriages are entered into so lightly and are exited just as lightly!

If every marriage officer not only knew what it was that God joined but purposed never to marry any couple which God would not join…
If every couple contemplating marriage not only knew what God joined but also purposed that they would only marry if God would join their union, and….
If every couple contemplating divorce not only knew what it was that God joined but also purposed not to put asunder what God had joined…. divorce rates would plummet very quickly to zero!

Personally, I am firmly convinced that the answer to the question, “What is it that God joins which He also forbids to be put asunder?” …. is marriages which at their very commencement are marked by all six of the features (above). It is for this reason that I call these the “Six Marks of A Marriage that God Joins”. (To be continued…)